I find that just plain existing is much easier to accomplish.
To wake up, shower, coffee, captain crunch, shoes, sidewalk, class, lecture, more sidewalk, work, typing, sidewalk again, apartment, take out the trash, watch a tv show, read a chapter, eat leftovers, pajamas, toothbrush, sheets, asleep.
How much more effort per day I must give to live a full life for there are people in each situation waiting to interact, willing me to say something but trying to look like they don't give a care 'bout nothin'.
How much harder is it to keep garnering the courage to talk to that one guy every day after psych class, instead of settling for a quick smile and walk away.
How much easier would it be if I could be comfortable in every situation instead of unfathomably unsure and unstable.
If everything was easier, would it be perfect?
If everything took less effort, would I not have to try?
If everything was easier, would I, could I be me?
Love overcomes hate, peace undermines anxiety, joy covers up sadness, could these be who they are without the effort, without the try?
Messiah died because He wanted me to try. Messiah died because He wanted more than just plain existing for me. Messiah died so I could exist correctly.
And now all I have to do is let Him help me.
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